The other day, I had the good fortune of watching 2 pair of geese in my yard. I live by a lake and we frequently see geese here in Minnesota, but watching these 2 pair seemed to be special. It wasn't a particularly nice day. Gray, but warm. I just happen to look out the window to see 2 geese, slowly walking across my front yard, seemingly gazing at the house to say, "I don't know George, it seems overstated." As I watched further, I realized there was another pair following just behind them. Perhaps it is just me, but I imagined the conversations going on between each pair and couldn't help but wonder what there conclusion might be, should they stay?? Should they move on??
As I watched....my "little" dog.....seemed rather insistent on going outside, but I knew she would scare them away. I felt compelled to give them a reason to stay. I should feed them I thought. Then they will come back frequently and give me joy. Now, I do realize that some people would prefer to not have geese on their property....but, I alas am not one of them. So....I ran to my bread drawer....sure to find some "old" bread there! I called two my "large" dogs outside, sure that they will scare them away. Then I quietly walked outside, with one "large" dog in tow, who refused to go inside, old bread in hand, and I cautiously walked towards the geese.
They saw me coming of course and started walking towards the lake....then walking quicker....then took off in flight towards the water. All the while, I am talking to them and attempting to throw bread to them (I really want them to stay). As they hurried into the water and began their hurried paddle to the other side....I was talking to them....yes, talking to them.
Trying to assure them that it is okay to stay, "It is okay, I will feed you!"
Pretty sure they aren't coming back.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
My Mother's Hands
I hold a visual image of my mother's hands. I don't know why or when it occurred, but I do remember a day when I took notice of her hands. There are other things that I remember as
well, her laugh, the sound of her voice when she was angry with me. But there was one specific day when I took note of her hands. I may have been in my 20s or 30s - but there was something specific about her hands that drew me to them.
They were smooth and reddened. I imagined that perhaps they had no fingerprints left after the years of hard work and projects that she impinged upon. The skin appeared thin and fragile. At that point in my life, I did not realize all that she held within her hands and her heart. I did not realize the work that she had put into the family. I remember wondering if my hands would ever look like that. But that moment did not come to realization until about 5 years ago, as I stared down at the hands that lay on my lap.....they were my mother's hands.
I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I suppose with Mother's Day coming up, that makes sense. She died of pancreatic cancer (which is a topic for another day) at what I now know was the "tender" age of 68.
She had busy hands. She took time to refinish furniture, sew slipcovers, upholster, work in the garden, remodel the house, make jam, and pinecone wreaths. I remember going on walks to find wildflowers, cattails, and pinecones. Occasionally, she even tried to do her own home appliance repairs.
My mother was a strong woman. I miss her and I miss her laugh. Perhaps most, I miss her hands in action.
I hold a visual image of my mother's hands. I don't know why or when it occurred, but I do remember a day when I took notice of her hands. There are other things that I remember as
well, her laugh, the sound of her voice when she was angry with me. But there was one specific day when I took note of her hands. I may have been in my 20s or 30s - but there was something specific about her hands that drew me to them.
They were smooth and reddened. I imagined that perhaps they had no fingerprints left after the years of hard work and projects that she impinged upon. The skin appeared thin and fragile. At that point in my life, I did not realize all that she held within her hands and her heart. I did not realize the work that she had put into the family. I remember wondering if my hands would ever look like that. But that moment did not come to realization until about 5 years ago, as I stared down at the hands that lay on my lap.....they were my mother's hands.
I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I suppose with Mother's Day coming up, that makes sense. She died of pancreatic cancer (which is a topic for another day) at what I now know was the "tender" age of 68.
She had busy hands. She took time to refinish furniture, sew slipcovers, upholster, work in the garden, remodel the house, make jam, and pinecone wreaths. I remember going on walks to find wildflowers, cattails, and pinecones. Occasionally, she even tried to do her own home appliance repairs.
My mother was a strong woman. I miss her and I miss her laugh. Perhaps most, I miss her hands in action.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Earth Day 2009
I live in Minnesota. Spring in Minnesota has a certain urgency. We have been couped up for a long time. We are bored with our winter hobbies. We want to be outside and we want it all to be done RIGHT now! Compound that stress with the fact that it is Earth Day.
Today is a beautiful day. It is 60 degrees, no wind, and the sun is shining. After a long winter, this makes for an unproductive work day. Although I went to work, and stayed as long as I could possibly endure...my mind was on cleaning up the yard, all with the goal of enjoying a beautiful summer. So I left work a little early, with my mind set.....it is spring and it is Earth Day. As I drive the 50 miles home, I prepare myself mentally for what is in front of me....the discovery of what I left undone last fall, the damage done by our dogs, and the Minnesota winter. My plan.....to clean the yard!
While this may sound easy enough, please take note that my yard is 7 acres large. I love my 7 acres, and I am not complaining about having 7 acres....it was a choice. Although this is a beautiful spring day, cleaning up my 7 acres can easily go from joy to overwhelming in one fell swoop.
I arrive home, prepared for the task at hand. I called my husband on the way, asking that before he go golfing, he remove the snow plow from the 4-wheeler so that I may use it along with the sweeper to sweep the yard clean. Mind you, to me removing the plow must be a fairly easy task, as it is put on and taken off every year.....first mistake. While he agreed to the task without hesitation, he didn't seem to enjoy it and got his golf clothes dusty in the process. Task complete....sweeper and 4 wheeler ready!! This should be a breeze!
Did I mention that it is a 7 acre lot, surrounded by forest?? And Earth Day??
So, this is my plan. I will start my compost heap, because it is Earth Day, and the "right" thing to do. I had already started a 5 gallon pail with vegetable scraps to assist in the compost pile. I read an article on composting. What more could I need to know or do? I must admit that I did consider posting a chart on the kitchen cabinet doors so that everyone would know what to compost and what not to. I recinded this idea. I was afraid that everyone else may hold me to the standards that I may set forth for them.
So off I go, 4 wheeler and lawn sweeper set for motion. Two hours later...there is barely a dent in the yard. Ok, change in plans. Maybe I should take a break and pick up sticks....there are a lot of sticks. Two and a half hours later....hey, what about that leaf blower/vacuum that I felt compelled to buy last year after my daughter told me how easily her neighbors cleaned their yard with one. (Neighbors....not a 7 acre lot, nor in the middle of a forest.)
Ok - leaf blower/vac in hand. I wonder where I put the rest of the parts for this thing? Got 'em. How does this thing go together?? After 15 minutes of struggling, I get it together, although I think something must be backwards. But, off I go. Vacuum....vacuum....vacuum. This will be great for the compost pile. I mean it is Earth Day.
Ok - I am tired. I wonder where I put the directions for this thing....oh....there they are, in the leaf pile I neglected to finish last year.
Three hours of yard work....and no one would know but me, because I saw it before I started.
To some this may have seemed like a wasted day....but to me....I spent 3 hours outside in the fresh air and enjoyed it! I may have not finished cleaning the yard...but, my dogs and I had a great time.
Today is a beautiful day. It is 60 degrees, no wind, and the sun is shining. After a long winter, this makes for an unproductive work day. Although I went to work, and stayed as long as I could possibly endure...my mind was on cleaning up the yard, all with the goal of enjoying a beautiful summer. So I left work a little early, with my mind set.....it is spring and it is Earth Day. As I drive the 50 miles home, I prepare myself mentally for what is in front of me....the discovery of what I left undone last fall, the damage done by our dogs, and the Minnesota winter. My plan.....to clean the yard!
While this may sound easy enough, please take note that my yard is 7 acres large. I love my 7 acres, and I am not complaining about having 7 acres....it was a choice. Although this is a beautiful spring day, cleaning up my 7 acres can easily go from joy to overwhelming in one fell swoop.
I arrive home, prepared for the task at hand. I called my husband on the way, asking that before he go golfing, he remove the snow plow from the 4-wheeler so that I may use it along with the sweeper to sweep the yard clean. Mind you, to me removing the plow must be a fairly easy task, as it is put on and taken off every year.....first mistake. While he agreed to the task without hesitation, he didn't seem to enjoy it and got his golf clothes dusty in the process. Task complete....sweeper and 4 wheeler ready!! This should be a breeze!
Did I mention that it is a 7 acre lot, surrounded by forest?? And Earth Day??
So, this is my plan. I will start my compost heap, because it is Earth Day, and the "right" thing to do. I had already started a 5 gallon pail with vegetable scraps to assist in the compost pile. I read an article on composting. What more could I need to know or do? I must admit that I did consider posting a chart on the kitchen cabinet doors so that everyone would know what to compost and what not to. I recinded this idea. I was afraid that everyone else may hold me to the standards that I may set forth for them.
So off I go, 4 wheeler and lawn sweeper set for motion. Two hours later...there is barely a dent in the yard. Ok, change in plans. Maybe I should take a break and pick up sticks....there are a lot of sticks. Two and a half hours later....hey, what about that leaf blower/vacuum that I felt compelled to buy last year after my daughter told me how easily her neighbors cleaned their yard with one. (Neighbors....not a 7 acre lot, nor in the middle of a forest.)
Ok - leaf blower/vac in hand. I wonder where I put the rest of the parts for this thing? Got 'em. How does this thing go together?? After 15 minutes of struggling, I get it together, although I think something must be backwards. But, off I go. Vacuum....vacuum....vacuum. This will be great for the compost pile. I mean it is Earth Day.
Ok - I am tired. I wonder where I put the directions for this thing....oh....there they are, in the leaf pile I neglected to finish last year.
Three hours of yard work....and no one would know but me, because I saw it before I started.
To some this may have seemed like a wasted day....but to me....I spent 3 hours outside in the fresh air and enjoyed it! I may have not finished cleaning the yard...but, my dogs and I had a great time.
Welcome
My first blog....how did I get here? This notion came to me this morning as I reflected on yesteday. Yesterday was a real crabby day for me....yes, I said crabby..not crappy. I wish I could tell you why, but I haven't the slightest idea. A girl friend and I reflected after work and over a beer or two. The honest truth is that I was irritated with everything that everyone did or didn't do. Unfortunately, much of this was directed at my husband. He didn't have it coming. He was just there. Following a day of irritation, I was fortunate enough to spend the evening with 2 of my grandchildren. The irritation went away. I was happy.
Obviously, the neverending love that I have for my grandchildren is part of the reason that I had this sudden turnabout. But, I think there might be more. This is a comfortable role for me...caretaker of children. The fact that it was my grandchildren of course made it more enjoyable, but just the same, it is a comfortable role for me. I know what to do in this setting.
I raised four children myself, so I have had some practice!
But, alas my roles are changing. Most days I am thrilled by this prospect. I have time to quilt. I have time to garden. If I want to leave the house - I do. If I want to take a trip - I can be packed in 20 minutes!! No extras - just my stuff!! This freedom provides me with what is supposed to be a "whole new life." If I want to lay on the couch and watch TV all day long, I can. So why do I find myself not always enjoying this part of my life?
I guess I didn't come prepared. I guess that is why I am here.
In conversation with friends, I know that I am not the only one who has these notions...these crabby days. But perhaps through sharing and exploration, we can come together to help each other out, to share our successes, to wallow if we need. Please share your thoughts, your joys, your life.
Obviously, the neverending love that I have for my grandchildren is part of the reason that I had this sudden turnabout. But, I think there might be more. This is a comfortable role for me...caretaker of children. The fact that it was my grandchildren of course made it more enjoyable, but just the same, it is a comfortable role for me. I know what to do in this setting.
I raised four children myself, so I have had some practice!
But, alas my roles are changing. Most days I am thrilled by this prospect. I have time to quilt. I have time to garden. If I want to leave the house - I do. If I want to take a trip - I can be packed in 20 minutes!! No extras - just my stuff!! This freedom provides me with what is supposed to be a "whole new life." If I want to lay on the couch and watch TV all day long, I can. So why do I find myself not always enjoying this part of my life?
I guess I didn't come prepared. I guess that is why I am here.
In conversation with friends, I know that I am not the only one who has these notions...these crabby days. But perhaps through sharing and exploration, we can come together to help each other out, to share our successes, to wallow if we need. Please share your thoughts, your joys, your life.
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